Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Boston Bruins

Well "my boys" aren't doing really great this season but they are still "my boys" and I wouldn't cheer for any other team. Being a New York expatriate, this has caused more than a bit of consternation among my NY friends. Apparently (and I did not know this), if you are born in NY and even if you never took an interest in any NY sports teams while you were living there, you are without a doubt expected to cheer for only NY teams for the rest of your life. Who knew??

Up until now, I never enjoyed watching team sports on TV.  I viewed Super Bowls merely as events to hone my catering skills and try out new appetizer recipes.  Chips and dips are for rookies!  Let's raise the bar people!  I used to watch figure skating until it got a little too artsy and theatrical for me. So now I prefer watching real men slamming the hell out of each other.

I caught hockey fever last year mid season when I went to my first Bruins game at TD Garden.  We were seated with the animals up in the cheap seats.  A very heavy set man with a big Bruins foam finger attempted to sit his rather large butt into the seat in front of me. It wasn't going well so with all eyes upon him, he did what any normal, embarrassed person would do.  He started to twerk like Miley Cyrus complete with foam finger and tongue action.  That alone was worth the price of admission before the first puck even dropped.

I  have the Bruins app on my  i-phone protected by a Bruins case (of course) with the Bruins goal song as my ring tone.  I play Bruins Fantasy Five.  I'm ranked 301 out of 481 players....but the season is only half over so I'm still optimistic.  I have tons of Bruins sweatshirts, socks, hats and pajamas.  Seriously, I am very proud to be a Bruins fashion faux pas!! If I were to appear in a fashion magazine, I'm pretty sure I'd have a big black bar across my face and the word "NOT" located nearby :) Make that a black and gold bar please and you'll get no problems from me :)  On days when it's just too depressing to listen to another syllable of the national news, I flip to the NHL channel at least until until "my boys" are on NESN.  Unlike the NFL, the NHL doesn't drag the "hands up, don't shoot" "I can't breathe" political bullshit on the ice. And it isn't very often that you hear of an NHL player beating the crap out of his wife. Slava Voynov is the exception not just another overpaid felon suiting up in the locker room.

I went to a pre-season game this season and sat in row 8 next to the team box by the tunnel.  I saw Riley Smith spit out a tooth. Could see Chara's extra long hockey stick in the rack.  I watched who I think is an assistant equipment manager spend the bulk of 60 minutes scanning the crowd for hot, female hockey groupies.  (That's only an assumption on my part but I did spend a career working with mostly men and I am familiar with the "look".)  My only suggestion to the NHL, if they were to ask me, is that they put a couple of boxes of Kleenex next to the bottles of Gatorade.  Good grief!!!  No wonder so many players came down with the mumps! The penalty box must be like sitting in a petri dish!  Claude listen to me!  We're in the middle of flu season!!



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